ചില വിഷു ഓർമകൾ ......പൊതുവെ ഒരു പാലക്കാട്കാരനായിട്ടാണ് എല്ലാരും എന്നെ അറിയുന്നതെങ്കിലും വാസ്തവത്തിൽ എൻ്റെ മാതാപിതാക്കളുടെ സ്വദേശം തൃശ്ശൂർ ആണ് .അച്ഛന് ഓട്ടുപാറ വടക്കാഞ്ചേരി, അമ്മയ്ക്ക് നന്തിക്കര .ഞാൻ ജനിച്ചതും തൃശ്ശൂർ .എന്റെ പേരിലും ഉണ്ട് തൃശൂർ .......ഇനി കുറച്ചു ഫ്ലാഷ് ബാക് -----വാർഷിക പരീക്ഷ കഴിഞ്ഞു സ്കൂളിൽ നിന്നിറങ്ങുമ്പോൾ അമ്മ വിളിക്കാൻ വന്നിട്ടുണ്ടാകും ."വേഗം നട SKMS പോയിടും "എന്നത് അമ്മയുടെ സ്ഥിരം ശകാരമായിരുന്നു  . പണ്ട് ഒരു SKMS ബസ് തൃശ്ശൂർക്കുണ്ടായിരുന്നു .പിന്നീടത് വണ്ടിത്താവളം പാലക്കാട് ബസായി മാറി .SKMS =സാറെ കേറുമ്പോ മുട്ട് സൂക്ഷിക്കണം എന്നതിന്റെ സംക്ഷിപ്ത രൂപമാണെന്ന് പണ്ടാരോ പറഞ്ഞു തന്നിരുന്നു. അന്ന് പൊട്ടി പൊളിഞ്ഞ ഒരു റോഡായിരുന്നു അണിക്കോട്ടേക്ക് .ഓട്ടോ വിരളം മാത്രമല്ല ആഡംബരവും . അത്കൊണ്ട് വെയിലത്തു നടത്തം ഒരു സ്ഥിരം പരിപാടിയുമായിരുന്നു . തൃശൂർ മുനിസിപ്പൽ ബസ് സ്റ്റാൻഡിൽ ബസ് ഇറങ്ങുമ്പോതന്നെ ഒരു പ്രത്യേക ഫീലാണ് .ചിലപ്പോ പത്തൻസിൽ നിന്നും വല്ലതും കഴിച്ചിട്ടാണ് പൂങ്കുന്നത്തെക്ക് യാത്ര തുടരാറ്‌ .അന്ന് പാട്ടുരായ്ക്കലിൽ മേമ്പാലം വന്നിട്ടില്ല എന്നാണ് ഓർമ .അമ്മാവൻ തൃശ്ശൂർ ശേലിൽ പറയാറുണ്ട് ."കരുണാരൻ മേമ്പാലം കൊണ്ടുവരുട്ടാ ". അത് പിന്നീട് യാഥാർഥ്യവുമായി .ചെറിയമ്മമാരുടെ മക്കൾ ഓരോന്നായി എത്തി തുടങ്ങുമ്പോഴേക്കും  തറവാട് ഒരു യുദ്ധക്കളമായി മാറും .പേരകുട്ടികൾക്കു ഭക്ഷണം തരുന്നത് അമ്മൂമ്മയാണ് .കാരണം പെങ്ങൻമ്മാർക്ക് കുറെ കുശുമ്പുകൾ പറയാനുണ്ടാകും .ഒരു വലിയ പാത്രത്തിൽ ചോറും മുളകൂട്ടലും ഇട്ട് മിക്സ് ചെയ്ത് ഓരോരുത്തർക്കും ഒരു ഉരുണ്ട അതായിരുന്നു കണക്ക് .പാതി വിശപ്പോടുകൂടി ഞങ്ങൾ ഉക്കുരു ചേട്ടന്റെ തൊടിയിൽ കളിയ്ക്കാൻ പോകും .അവിടെയാണെങ്കി മാങ്ങയും ചാമ്പക്കയും അരിനെല്ലിയും ഇരിമ്പാപുളിയും എല്ലാം ഞങ്ങടെ കല്ലേറ് കൊള്ളാനായി സമൃദ്ധമായി നിൽക്കുന്നുണ്ടാകും .ഉക്കുരു ചേട്ടന്റെ മക്കൾ ദുബായിലായിരുന്നതിനാൽ ഞങ്ങളോട് വലിയ സ്നേഹമായിരുന്നു .ഇടയ്ക് കൈമൾ ചേട്ടന്റെ കടയിൽ നിന്നും നാരങ്ങ സോഡ മേടിക്കാനയി ചില്ലറയും തരുമായിരുന്നു .അങ്ങനെയിരിക്കുമ്പോ ഒരു വിഷു അടുത്ത് വന്നു .ഉക്കുരു ചേട്ടന്റെ തൊടിയിലെ ചക്ക മണത്തുതുടങ്ങിയിരുന്നു .ഒരാള്ടെ വലിപ്പമുള്ള ചക്ക വലിച്ചിറക്കാനായി  പറമ്പിലെ പണിക്കാരൻ ഈനാശു ചേട്ടനും പണിക്കാരി പള്ളിയും നല്ലോണം പണിപ്പെട്ടു .ഞങ്ങളെല്ലാവരും കൂടി അത് വിഷുക്കണിക്കായി ഞങ്ങടെ തറവാട്ടിലെത്തിച്ചു .എന്നിട്ട് ക്ഷീണം മാറ്റാനായി പള്ളത്ത് തറവാട്ടുകുളത്തിൽ കുളിച്ചു വന്നു .അപ്പോഴാണ് എന്തോ പൊടിക്കാനായി മുത്തശ്ശി ഞങ്ങളെ മില്ലിലേക്ക് പറഞ്ഞു വിട്ടത്..........അവിടത്തെ മല്ലി പൊടിക്കുന്നതിന്റെ മണം എന്റെ സിരകളിൽ കയറിയിട്ട് ഇന്ന് ഒരു ഇരുപത്തഞ്ചു വർഷമായിക്കാണും .ഓരോ പ്രാവശ്യവും തൃശ്ശൂർക്ക് വരുമ്പോ ഞാൻ ഉറപ്പ് വരുത്തും, പൂങ്കുന്നം റൈസ് ആൻഡ് ഫ്ലോർ മിൽ അവിടെ തന്നെ ഉണ്ടെന്നു (കല്യാൺ ജെവെല്ലേഴ്സിന്റെ കോർപറേറ്റ് ഓഫിസ് കെട്ടിടം വന്നതോടുകൂടി ഈ മിൽ അത്ര എളുപ്പം ആളുകളുടെ കണ്ണിൽ പെടില്ലെങ്കിലും). മല്ലി പൊടിക്കുന്ന സുഗന്ധം മണക്കാനായി ഞാൻ ഇപ്പോഴും ഇവിടെത്തുമ്പോ കാറിന്റെ ചില്ല് താഴ്ത്തും.... തറവാട്ടിൽ ഇപ്പോൾ ഒരു അമ്മാവൻ മാത്രമാണ് താമസം .....ഉക്രുവിന്റെ ദുബായിലെ മക്കൾ ആ സ്ഥലം ഇപ്പൊ അപ്പാർട്മെന്റ്സ് പണിയാനായി വിറ്റു.....മുത്തശ്ശി ഇപ്പോഴും പഴം പുരാണങ്ങൾ പറഞ്ഞു കൊണ്ട് വേറൊരു അമ്മാവന്റെ ഫ്ലാറ്റിൽ .നടക്കാൻ ബുദ്ധിമുട്ടുള്ളത് കൊണ്ട് പുറത്തെങ്ങും പോവാറില്ല .അടുത്തിടെ ഒരു വീഴ്ച സമ്മാനവും കിട്ടി പാവത്തിന് ....വിഷു കഴിഞ്ഞു മുത്തശ്ശി ഉണ്ടാക്കുന്ന ചക്കവരട്ടിയ്ക്ക് അമൃതിനെക്കാളും സ്വാദുണ്ടായിരുന്നു എന്ന് ഭാര്യയോടും മോനോടും വീമ്പ് പറഞ്ഞു കൊണ്ട് -ഈ വിഷുവിന് ചക്ക മേടിക്കാൻ ഞാൻ ക്യൂവിലും . "അതിക്ക് നീങ്ക അമൃത് കുടിച്ചു സ്വാദ് പാത്തിരുക്കേളാ " എന്ന് പ്രണവിന്റെ ചോദ്യത്തിനടിയിലാണ് കടക്കാരൻ "സാറെ കുറച്ചു കണിക്കൊന്നയും എടുക്കട്ടേ " ...അമൃതിന്റെ പ്രശ്നത്തിൽ എന്തുത്തരം മകന് നൽകുമെന്ന് ചിന്തയിൽ നിന്ന് കൊണ്ട് തന്നെ -ഞാനും എല്ലാർക്കും എന്റെ വിഷു ആശംസകൾ നേരുന്നു.

Vegetarian

Before I start with, a small request: Kindly use Google translate and Google search for those foreign phrases since I don't want to break my flow, in between, by giving translations.

Once upon a time in an early morning....Someone knocked at my door of my lake view room in Fischerklause- Hamburg. He greeted me Guten Morgan as soon as I opened the door. He made me follow him with his gestures, took me in the boat to the center of the lake , took his fishing bait and in a few minutes he caught a fish and showed it to me. Then I realised what was happening there, and in a quick reflex I showed him the SMS sent by my German Friend for emergency use - "er ist ein vegetarain. er kann nicht Fisch, Huhn, Schaf etc essen aus religiösen Gründen" . The guy kept his hand on his head and gave a frown with a murmur- of-course I am sure he would have uttered something like MC, BC etc.....This was my first hand trouble experience as a vegetarian......

And now the story starts.....

Never knew that Indonesia is just at a 55 minutes distance from Singapore till I boarded the Batam Fast (Ferry) from Singapore Harbor front ..... Only thing which disturbs me -always- when I travel to a new country is the availability of vegetarian food (or better may I call it Satvic food, since I avoid taking Onion and Garlic too).... With the same skepticism I landed at Batam and the Immigration guy with a folded hands said "Selamat Datang". Being a Muslim country I was ready to reciprocate in Mamukoya style when they greet me "Assalaamu alehkum" and by default my sub conscious mind made me say "Walehkum Assalaam". Later I knew that I should say "Sama-sama" which means "Same here or same to you"...Hope you could see the Sanskrit connection in Indonesian Words....

After clearing Immigration formalities I was very hungry and I searched for a good restaurant and I zeroed in on one which looked nice and clean. The waitress asked me "Apa mau"-for I said -Vegetarian..She could not understand (In Indonesia they pronounce Veg as Fegk and Weg as Vegk). I was not smart enough to use my smart phone but I showed her the Timun, Bawang, Wortel and Indo Mie (Noodles). Then she said in a musical tone "Ohhhhh....Saaayuuuuuraan"

In another ten minutes the breakfast was ready and later I proceeded to my destination to take rest....

....Days passed and slowly I started picking up words and phrases and most important how to utter the same in their musical slang. My non-veg eating friends sarcastically told that being vegetarian in Indonesia is like being a handicap. They said that even the food which they say vegetarian will have egg in it. So.... I learnt to say "Tidak pakai telur" which then became "Hanya Sayuran, nggak pakai telur" and later "Jangan pakai telur"

Learning continued alongwith practice and I started liking the vegetarian food of Indo- Nasi Goreng Sayuran, Kentang Goreng,Cap Cai, Mei Goreng Sayur, Kolak and kurma, Dodol Kentang, 'Martabak -tidak pakai telur',Tahu, Tempei with Kecap Manis or Pedas Sambal, Lalapan, Veg Supreme Pizza and so on. How can I forget to mention the Monas (a small replica of the Monument Nasional in Jakarta) Ice cream from A&W.....

This new learning gave me confidence to travel anywhere across the archiplaego 'Nusantara' and visited the beautiful places in the earth (other than my motherland) .

The influence of Sanskrit and Indian culture were clearly visible in Indonesia both in Symbols as well as in their behavior. They greet everyone with a folded hands, after a handshake- they touch their heart, always use right hand to give something, that too with the left hand fingers touching the right hand as done by an Indian Priest while giving Prasadam . I have just mentioned a few, but the point which I want to stress is that these gestures are done by all irrespective of religion. This made me really proud about our age-old culture but unfortunately in India it is being given the color of religion and even politicised....

Whether it was during Scuba Diving in Nusa Dua or while trekking the active volcano "Kawah Domas" my mind was full of the Sanskrit Shloka reproduced below:

समुद्रवसने देवि पर्वतस्तनमण्डले ।
विष्णुपत्नि नमस्तुभ्यं पादस्पर्शं क्षमस्वमे ॥

.....I was taught how to wear the sandal paste in my forehead, how to wear the Sacred Thread, what mantra to recite when I wake up and touch the floor with my feet- all external symbols of being a Hindu, but only after being here in Indonesia, I realised that I have become a Hindu as well as Fegketarian internally juga .

Terima Kasih Banyak, Indonesia!

Astrology and I

My previous blog posts have covered some of my school days, so referring those may be useful to comprehend this present one fully . ....I never knew that there is something called astrology till I reached 5th std when our village temple was all set for a Kumbhabishekam after a long gap of some 20 years. My father was one of the committee members of the temple management (hereinafter referred to as the "CMs") and so he had to travel a lot for collecting donations, arranging sponsors for various events etc. I also occasionally accompanied him to various places esp. Private Ltd companies where some top shots like CEO, CFO, Director etc were Tambrahms (Tamil Brahmins or Palakkad Iyers to be specific). These top shots used a portion of their Companies' funds for religious matters (Corporate Religious Responsibility or CRR as an MBA may call it). Hence my dad's visits became fruitful coz of the CRRs of the TamBrahms.

One fine morning, the CMs came to our house asking for my father. I told that he is performing his Sandhya vandhanam (That was what I was supposed to tell visitors even when he was having idlis). After he came back from his prayers, the CMs said " Nammakku nalla oru jyotsanai paakkanam. Chela thadasangal ellaam irukku. athukku chela parihaaram pannanam". My dad replied " Chupparama jyotsyarai venam nnal paakalaam. aana avarukku konjam thallalai".....The Talayalam conversation went on, but the gist of the conversation was this " The CMs believe that there are some bottlenecks for conducting the kumbabhishekam and hence they need to consult an astrologer for doing certain pujas to remove those bottlenecks. Later during the day my father told this to my mom and I heard him say that it will be better to pray to lord Ganesha instead of consulting an astrologer and doing pariharas. He probably told to himself, "Who is more powerful than the God himself!" (He being an accountant might have thought why should they incur unnecessary cost ; ...the astrologer guys are superb, they may demand things like Gold Chain etc as a parihara for removing bottlenecks; enna koduma saar ithu)

That day in school, my thoughts were like this : 1. Who is an astrologer? 2. How is he important than the GOD himself (Perhaps this thought was borrowed from my dad)? I asked these doubts one of my classmates who is a very pious guy (at least I believed he was pious coz he used to wear the sacred ash that too three distinct parallel thick lines//perhaps arcs// on his forehead ) and supposed to know everything about God. He told that astrologer is somebody who can see past, present and future by doing some mathematical calculations. I still think that this guy is a genius coz at 5 th std this guy was able to define something that too with some convincing logic. He told a lot more also as he understood that I didnt know anything about this topic, which was a pretty big opportunity for him to capitalize

.....When I finished my 7th standard, I joined a Boys-Only-School (when u read this phrase u r supposed to show sympathy) and continued my education still securing top positions in the exams. Then slowly my percentages came down and I got pushed down from 1st to 8th Rank among all the divisions. At home my mom's discussion topics were either zeroed down to my sister's marriage or my deterioration of education; the main yardstick being MARKS....One Sunday we all went for some shopping and while returning my mom asked my father whether we could meet an astrologer for knowing the right time for marriage based on my sis's horoscope and also about my education. I think my mom had planned it already since she had carried the horoscopes of all of us with her. My dad told her that there is a panikkar (I was sure, the fees would be less, otherwise why this particular astrologer ?) near our house who is considered as an expert in this. So the plan was kept in abeyance.........

DAYS PASSED and my tenth standard exams started and my dad used to accompany me to the school everyday and he had even arranged an auto-rickshaw for daily pickup. I felt embarrassed since all other students were coming on their own, but my dad insisted on coming along with me. There were also other embarrassments to my credit viz. no moustache and mix voice (FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT KNOW:When boys attain the age of puberty they lose their childish voice and acquire a male voice, but during the transition period the voice would a Mix voice)

There were exams for twelve subjects and I had completed ten of them. When I returned home after completion of the tenth exam, my sister came to me and told that my parents had shown my horoscope to the astrologer and he told my mom that I wont be able to write the SSLC exams. She also told me that which is the reason why my dad accompanies me to school that too hiring an auto-rickshaw (which was a luxury at that time considering my dad's financial condition). I told that nobody can predict future(...now I understand MBAs CAN, esp. those working in the Forward and Futures Market) , if somebody can then why do mishaps occur. She argued that nobody should be sarcastic about astrology and asked me to revoke my statement. Then to pacify her (usually I pacify her when we ague or quarrel -quid pro quo- the reserve cream biscuits which she keeps with her) I told that God can even prevent what is supposed to happen in future and hence I wont worry about any prediction. I went to the nearby Siva temple in the evening (I will not do EOD without going to this temple...I am sorry EOD is End Of Day which is a normal bankers' slang) and after I returned I started studying for the next day's exam. Suddenly I developed a severe pain along the right side of my neck and it extended to the right shoulder and then to my entire right hand. I felt my hands heavy to lift. I shouted and cried and my sister and mom came running towards me. My mom did some hot water therapy but the pain didn't subside. Then we went to a nearby clinic where the doctor said that it is a kind of a sprain and it will get cured only in 2-3 days. When we came back home my mom and sister started crying and they jointly said that the astrologer's predictions came true. My father who had gone to office returned very late that night and he also became very sad and upset seeing my plight .

But I was very confident and I felt that if I take the medicines that night I will get cured the next day. I had a disturbed sleep (coz I dreamt a lot) that night but my sis,mom and dad didnot sleep during that night. When I woke up in the morning I tried to see whether my hands are on their own, but unfortunately they were not. Then I began to think of Plan B i.e. write the exam using the left hand (Fortunately I can write using my left hand also but very slowly and with a handwriting that could be compared with somebody's who writes for the first time in life). I would be able to at least write the answers till I get a pass mark (I think 20 Marks). With these thoughts, I consoled my parents and sister that I wont fail in the exam let whatever hardships come on my way. I also said that I sincerely believe in the power of the Supreme Being and hence He wont let me down. My mom gave me a cup of coffee (we call it a 'tumbler') and when I finished my first sip, I heard some sound near the front door of our house and I realised that it was the morning newspaper. Since I had the privilege to read the newspaper first, my dad took it and gave it to me. When I unfolded the newspaper, the first news I read was "Pattambiyil SSLC chodya paper kathichu, innathae pareeksha maatti vachu". The detailed news was that some miscreants broke open the Strong Room where the SSLC Qn papers were kept and then lit fire, motives unknown!

PostScript: After 10 days the postponed exams were conducted and I scored 99 out of 100 in the Maths 1 and 2 exams. -I missed the 15th Rank in the State for 8 marks. From that day till date I have always advocated that though people may believe in destiny, they should also understand that selfless devotion towards the Supreme Power can override any hardships..... Jai Ganesha!

My Girlfriends made me a Communist!

To those who know that I was brought up in a small village in Palakkad,Kerala, this intro would be little disinteresting, so you may skip these. Though my native place is Thrissur - the cultural capital of Kerala, due to my grandpa's employment in Govt College,Chittur , he bought a house in the beautiful village of Thekkegramem ( Thekkegramem in Tamil,Malayalam and Talayalam -which is the unique language of palakkad iyers- means the village that is situated in the south ---of Chittur town .i.e.South Village). It is a typically a palakkad(an) agraharam where you can see houses in a row and the closest neighbours can hear the conversation in my house unless we talk in a hushed voice(which palakkad Iyers are unfamiliar to)

I studied in English Medium and was a good scorer in school. I had got many 1st Ranks to my credit and my mom boasted about these achievements to my gramavasis and her FAMILY members (My maternal grandma was the 16th child of her parents and had 7 children to her credit also- so you understand what I mean by FAMILY). There was always a depression in my mom's face when I scored 49 out of 50 in Maths; everybody would congratulate me but she thought why I was so careless to lose that one mark.

I was the only one (Rather I believe) in School who had a Wren&Martin Grammar book, which was actually recommended to me by my extra-rich cousin who was also of my same age (I think she had gifted me the extra one which she had- Her father always bought two copies of all text books, one remains permanently in school book shelf and the other at her study room, perhaps an idea to reduce the school baggage's weight). My teacher congratulated me whenever I scored a 50 in English; even she started behaving like my mom when I scored 49,48.5 etc. I studied till seventh standard in a co-ed school, but I had to shift to a far-away boys-only-school coz the former school was only co-ed till 7th; after 7th it is a Girls High school for reasons better known to the nuns who run the convent school.

So till 10th standard I had no option than to study coz there is no girl in class. For school drama events, boys used to dress up as girls BUT it was a very "big deal" for the adolescent 'boys' in the High school. My villagers were very orthodox as far as boy-girl relationship is concerned and they cannot think of any other relationship than love, if a boy and girl interacts. So I didnot have any relationship with girls other than sisterly relationships (I hate Chechis -who are always dominant).

After I completed my elementary education, I joined a college in Palakkad for Pre-degree course in commerce (i,e IV group). My ambtition was to become a chartered accountant coz in my maternal side there were lot of CAs and my parents(even I) thought that after becoming a CA there is no work to do, than to sign some papers and collect fees. The only game I liked very much was Chess and so I even skipped my PDC classes to play Chess with another crazy guy from another remote Palakkadan village. ...There were lot of girls in the class and everywhere there were girls in the college. I felt as if I were hungry but since there was a lot of food to choose from, I finally chose nothing; hence I stayed hungry and stayed foolish. But there were three girls who were extremely intelligent and I always had a gut feel that these girls are gonna be the toppers in the university. These three came to me after six months of my joining college and gave a Mujse-dosti-karoge look before they introduced themselves. Current generation may wonder why it took six months for intro, but that was the truth some years back . It even took DAYS for classmates to smile at each other (atleast for my classmates, not so sure about others).

I later realised the reason why these girls took an accretive intiative to talk to me; I had scored the fourth highest in the Mid-term exam conducted by our department. The student who was regularly irregular in attending classes has become the topper among boys and the fourth in class. The other three being the above mentioned three girls, my first girl-friends. At that time I never felt wrong to call them girl-friends coz. I thought logically- They are girls, they are also my friends. At that age I did not understand the customary meaning of girl-friend, break-up, move-on etc.

Time passed and Pre-degree results were out. The topper in the University was none other than me. Two of my three girl-friends claimed second and third position in the University. Lucky we were, all three ranks for Commerce goes to the credit of our college. My third girlfriend had already become a real GF of somebody of some other college and hope that was not the reason why she couldnot top the exam.

We three rank-holders were showered with lot of praises, awards and the important thing "MONEY". We were also invited by an elite club where we were felicitated by Gentlemen and some Glittering Ladiez.

We all joined the same college for graduation in commerce. First day in B.com was a freshers day, though we were not freshers in College. We were subjected to some ok-kind-of ragging which I felt funny and interesting. I knew a lot of oldies in college who were pursuing their last year of studies so I felt more confident when subjected to some small pranks played by seniors. But then I realised that there were some seniors who constantly tried to harass me. Few of them even tried to make mockery out of the dress I wear and made remarks supposedly aiming at my poor financial condition. Suddenly I felt a rich-poor divide, which made me angry and I shouted at them saying that "Rich wont stay rich forever, poor will definitely defeat them one day or other...Your days are counting". Hearing my loud voice, one of the oldies whom I knew very well (Infact I had defeated him in a district chess tournament ...He studied chemistry, but he had a "girl friend" in Commerce) came for my support and he turned out to be a staunch activist of the students union representing the leftist cluster. His arrival made the scene calmer and my seniors scattered as they knew that individuals cannot easily revolt against a political party supporter.

The oldie calmed me and guaranteed his help whenever I required so. My aggressiveness even helped me to earn friends in my own class who thought that they have somebody who represents the down-trodden i.e. the JUNIORS. I narrated this incident to my friends at my tuition class and one of them said that my talk had the stint of a communist and no wonder why a politsupporter came for my help. That day I could not sleep properly since I kept thinking why my seniors kept targeting me when there were lot of other preys for them. Suddenly I remembered that during my felicitation session at the Elite club, I told my two girl-freinds that since I am already two years old in the college, no body would dare to rag me on the freshers day or any other day for that matter.... I kept extrapolating my thoughts and I fell asleep only after concluding my thoughts like this - These two girl-friends also had good contact with oldies in the Dept and hence they only would have passed on my idle NOBODY-CAN-RAG-ME conversation .

What a genius I am!......; One of my seniors -who attempted to make a truce with me after the
intervention of the Leftist oldie- came to me the next day and told that my two girl-friends are the ones who have leaked the conversation (He told this to me in a such a degree of seriousness as if Pakistan had leaked the key Indian defence info).

The same day there was a membership event by the leftist students union and after the speech given by the college Unit Secretary , I felt my thoughts were closely aligned with the ideology of Marx; So I took one rupee from my torn wallet and got registered as a member.It was then I re-christened the phrase "Ningallenae communistaakki" to "Ente GirlFriends ennae communistaakki".

Postscript: Currently I am not affiliated to any political party and have also re-aligned myself to Spirituality. But I feel sad when people blame an MP/MLA/Minister for non-development.... Why dont you contest elections, win and change the fate of the nation than blaming everybody else except you for the country's current state of affairs?

Seventh Sense

Watched 7am arivu in Cinemax.kochi. Wanted to see how the stunts were performed since Johny (whose action was amazing in Goong opp to Tony Jaa) was the villain. But stunt visuals were mostly in slow motion which irritated a lot of action-loving-audience.

I believe kalari is originated in kerala but this movie portrays it as a martial art of TN. I dont know why suriya acted like a fanatic who even condemned the killing of LTTE Chief, though in an indirect way. I believe the movie lacked the degree of precision which is required in a SciFi movie.

At the entry of the villain, the movie should have gathered speed, but Murugadoss spoiled the same by inserting unwarranted songs, leaving the audience frustrated. Shruti didn't have the genetic engineering which she ought to have inherited from her talented father; I think she should have capitalized her glamor and complexion on movies like velayutham.In climax, the director didnt even care to show how Bodhi dharma2 cured the epidemic using his Eazhaam Arivu

To sum up, the movie didn't perform up to the expectations which were created by the Murugadoss team prior to its release . I would give a two-star rating out of five.

Sexy Learning

Last sunday (dt 6th Nov 2011), I had to attend my colleague's wedding at Salem. My friends in office had arranged a 12-seater A/C vehicle for our travel. We planned to leave by around 6PM on the Friday (dt 4th Nov 2011) before that Sunday. That friday morning my mobile reminder beeped saying "Buk_sat_puja". I then remembered that some weeks back I had promised my wife that we will go to a particular temple to do some astrological parihara on the specified date (i.e 5th Nov2011).

It was with a heavy heart that I told my friends in office that I back out from the Yercaud trip which was tagged alongwith the Wedding at Salem.....Now I had to book a train ticket to Salem on 4th under Tatkal Quota. When I checked IRCTC website I was surprised to find out that Train No 12698-TVM-Chennai SF Exp had 64 General tickets available in sleeper class (From palakkad to salem), that too only one in-between stop at Erode Jn.Immediately I booked the ticket online and took a printout.

The train was expected to leave Palakkad Jn @ 330Hrs (early morning). I used the Train Enquiry service (SMS RAIL to 139) to find out the train running info (SMS "SPOT 12698" to 139). I found out that train has left TVM on saturday (5 Nov 2011) and is running late by 15 min. Before leaving home @ 215Hrs on 6th Nov, I SMSed again to find out that train is running 26Min before time. I asked the Autorickshaw driver to accelerate so that I reach before time. It was a cold morning and maybe the reason why the driver charged me Rs 50 extra.

When I reached Pkd Jn, I heard the announcement in hindi --ek,do,che,now,aat .......platform no theen par khadi hein. I then rushed to my S-6 compartment (coz I had previous experiences (esp early morning/ midnight trains),when people inside the train put the latch and close it from inside and would be in deep sleep. Then I had to board in some other compartment and traverse thru various vestibules -with bad smell near toilets- and then finally reach the destination compt and reconfirm after opening the doors and seeing the Bogi No. written outside) and found the same was open. So I went inside and sat in my side-berth.One lucky guy was snoring in the middle berth and the other berths were free.The train left PGT at 340Hrs

Since I am 5feet 11 inches(perhaps 10.5 inches to be exact, but I like to say 11 inches) tall, I could nt sleep in the side berth, so I shifted to the lower berth which was vacant. At 550 Hrs -I thought I slept only for 5 mins - my phone rang (nobody dares to call me so early coz lot of my friends have heard my bad abuses coupled with bad breath when they called me when I was in deep sleep), and it was my wife who called me; before I could say Good Morning, Darling,, she said something like this"--go and wash your face--time is 5.50AM and by now u shud have reached Erode and next stop is Salem".Suddenly I realised the urgency of the situation and I woke up with high energy as if I am going to do something great to save Indians from terrorists

When train reached Erode a short time from now, an elderly Tamilian lady with her ok-kind-of-daughter (after I got married, all girls whom I see is only ok-kind-of ,so dont take any offence out of my phrase) boarded the train.She asked me " ithu unga bertha".I replied " No mine is side upper; since I have to alight at the next station ie Salem, I just came down to the lower berth"...(I didnt want to mention about my 5 "11" thing coz those two ladies were very short and I felt they would not feel good if I mention about my height)

Before I completed my reply , she said, "this train will not stop in Salem, next station is Jolarpettai" (the last word was uttered only once, but I could feel that Echo...Jolarpettai...Jolarpettai)

Then I tried to validate her statement by sending SMS "SPOT 12698" to 139 and was waiting for the return SMS from Rail Enquiry as if I had written CA exams very bad, and now the result is going to come. It took some time for the return SMS coz the connectivity got broken then and there. Finally the SMS appeared in my Inbox and it read "Train: source station:TVM central on 5-11-2011 departed erode Jn at 6-11-2011 06:15 Hrs, Late by 00:15 Hrs Next stop station: JOLARPETTAI Sch arrival 06-11-2011 09.03 Hrs..........". There was much more in the SMS, but I could read upto this only. My heartbeats stopped for sometime and by then it resumed I looked up at the old lady and asked -" Then how can they issue an e-ticket to salem if it doesnot stop at salem".

She smiled and said-" Ask TTE,....Oh in this train TTE doesnot appear at all till JOLARPETTAI". I checked the same with lot of tea and vada vendors and they all repeated the same-"Train doesnot have a stop in salem". One Tea vendor told that though it doesnt stop at salem, the train would be running very slow when it approaches Salem junction. This sentence was extrapolated in my mind and I thought I could pull the chain when the train slows down; then I would alight quickly and run before the train fully stops..... I quickly remembered that my mother-in-law works for the Indian Railways, and so I called her. She picked her phone after so many rings, perhaps it was her wake-up call. She said she would quickly check and revert. I was counting seconds and exactly after 90 Seconds, she called me back (She is a very efficient lady as far as i know her, not only coz she is my wife's mom but I have seen her writing down important things and putting a status remark against them to have a control over things) and said that she checked with one of her colleagues who is a Ticket issuer and he has replied in the negative. so the final verdict came-"Train doesnot stop at Salem"

Now my thoughts of pulling the emergency chain became immense and by mistake I told the elderly lady sitting opposite to me that I have decided to pull the chain coz I dont want to miss the wedding. Other alternative would be to alight at Jolarpettai (where I would cut a sorry figure as a ticket-less traveller and I would have to travel back to salem another 2-2.30 Hrs) which didnot look feasible. The elderly lady and her daughter suddenly came to a state of panic, coz they would have thought that I will pull the chain and run away and the police will interrogate them. The lady screamed "No you cant pull the chain". Still the lucky guy in the middle berth was sleeping...I decided to calm them down, so I said, " No I wont pull the chain". Both of them gave a look which sounded "We believed,hmmm"

To make them prove that I wont pull the chain, I stopped one tea-vendor and asked " The train stops at Salem, right?". He gave a disgusted look (perhaps he always had such a look) and said "Ongitta oru vaatti sonna puriyathaa. intha vandi salem nikkathu (Translation: "didnt u understand when I told first time, this vehicle doesnt halt at salem").

Within a few minutes the train passed Sankari Durg station, and salem is only few minutes from here. Then an idea struck me-I wont pull the chain from my current bogi, but will do it from the next bogi from where the exit is easy. I checked my Trousers pocket to find whether I have a kerchief (to get rid of finger print analysis).I called up my MIL for the second time to check whether if I pay Rs 1000 as fine, RPF will leave me. She told that there will be six months imprisonment also and pleaded not to do anything foolish . I was on deep thought when a book vendor came to me and asked- " Sir, do you want to see some books which I have brought".

I asked "Does this train stop at Salem" in a hushed voice and the two ladies started laughing uncontrollably (i dont know whether uncontrollably is gramatically correct or not, but this word looks apt).

The book vendor replied in a confident tone, " This is a weekly train; till last week this didnot have a stop at salem. Now since Salem is a separate Rail division, Salemites wanted a stop for this train at salem, and from this week i.e. from today this train halts at Salem Junction". What a wonderful explanation, I thought and I believed him since I have one more proof in my hand which I almost forgot i.e the E-TICKET booked from PGT to SA. Within few seconds I rushed to the footboard and 12698 started slowing down at Salem Junction. I could see the smile in the face of Salemites and I felt as if they are welcoming me to their wonderful town.

When it almost halted, I saw one TTE standing near the platform, to whom i asked " This will stop here, right?". He didnot reply but he smiled (Yes, body has its own language).

For the first time in 12698's history it halted at SA. I then thought if I would have told this incident to my Managing Director he would have summarised this in one phrase- "VALUE FOR INFORMATION- Excellent Learning Ganesh".

Post script: The wedding was colourful, both Bride and the groom looked fantabulous. Return trip was with my friends in the A/C 12-seater and a relaxed one. And it is worth mentioning that I was praying during my troubled times to Lord Hanuman to do some miracle and make the train halt :-)