Friday, November 11, 2011

My Girlfriends made me a Communist!

To those who know that I was brought up in a small village in Palakkad,Kerala, this intro would be little disinteresting, so you may skip these. Though my native place is Thrissur - the cultural capital of Kerala, due to my grandpa's employment in Govt College,Chittur , he bought a house in the beautiful village of Thekkegramem ( Thekkegramem in Tamil,Malayalam and Talayalam -which is the unique language of palakkad iyers- means the village that is situated in the south ---of Chittur town .i.e.South Village). It is a typically a palakkad(an) agraharam where you can see houses in a row and the closest neighbours can hear the conversation in my house unless we talk in a hushed voice(which palakkad Iyers are unfamiliar to)

I studied in English Medium and was a good scorer in school. I had got many 1st Ranks to my credit and my mom boasted about these achievements to my gramavasis and her FAMILY members (My maternal grandma was the 16th child of her parents and had 7 children to her credit also- so you understand what I mean by FAMILY). There was always a depression in my mom's face when I scored 49 out of 50 in Maths; everybody would congratulate me but she thought why I was so careless to lose that one mark.

I was the only one (Rather I believe) in School who had a Wren&Martin Grammar book, which was actually recommended to me by my extra-rich cousin who was also of my same age (I think she had gifted me the extra one which she had- Her father always bought two copies of all text books, one remains permanently in school book shelf and the other at her study room, perhaps an idea to reduce the school baggage's weight). My teacher congratulated me whenever I scored a 50 in English; even she started behaving like my mom when I scored 49,48.5 etc. I studied till seventh standard in a co-ed school, but I had to shift to a far-away boys-only-school coz the former school was only co-ed till 7th; after 7th it is a Girls High school for reasons better known to the nuns who run the convent school.

So till 10th standard I had no option than to study coz there is no girl in class. For school drama events, boys used to dress up as girls BUT it was a very "big deal" for the adolescent 'boys' in the High school. My villagers were very orthodox as far as boy-girl relationship is concerned and they cannot think of any other relationship than love, if a boy and girl interacts. So I didnot have any relationship with girls other than sisterly relationships (I hate Chechis -who are always dominant).

After I completed my elementary education, I joined a college in Palakkad for Pre-degree course in commerce (i,e IV group). My ambtition was to become a chartered accountant coz in my maternal side there were lot of CAs and my parents(even I) thought that after becoming a CA there is no work to do, than to sign some papers and collect fees. The only game I liked very much was Chess and so I even skipped my PDC classes to play Chess with another crazy guy from another remote Palakkadan village. ...There were lot of girls in the class and everywhere there were girls in the college. I felt as if I were hungry but since there was a lot of food to choose from, I finally chose nothing; hence I stayed hungry and stayed foolish. But there were three girls who were extremely intelligent and I always had a gut feel that these girls are gonna be the toppers in the university. These three came to me after six months of my joining college and gave a Mujse-dosti-karoge look before they introduced themselves. Current generation may wonder why it took six months for intro, but that was the truth some years back . It even took DAYS for classmates to smile at each other (atleast for my classmates, not so sure about others).

I later realised the reason why these girls took an accretive intiative to talk to me; I had scored the fourth highest in the Mid-term exam conducted by our department. The student who was regularly irregular in attending classes has become the topper among boys and the fourth in class. The other three being the above mentioned three girls, my first girl-friends. At that time I never felt wrong to call them girl-friends coz. I thought logically- They are girls, they are also my friends. At that age I did not understand the customary meaning of girl-friend, break-up, move-on etc.

Time passed and Pre-degree results were out. The topper in the University was none other than me. Two of my three girl-friends claimed second and third position in the University. Lucky we were, all three ranks for Commerce goes to the credit of our college. My third girlfriend had already become a real GF of somebody of some other college and hope that was not the reason why she couldnot top the exam.

We three rank-holders were showered with lot of praises, awards and the important thing "MONEY". We were also invited by an elite club where we were felicitated by Gentlemen and some Glittering Ladiez.

We all joined the same college for graduation in commerce. First day in B.com was a freshers day, though we were not freshers in College. We were subjected to some ok-kind-of ragging which I felt funny and interesting. I knew a lot of oldies in college who were pursuing their last year of studies so I felt more confident when subjected to some small pranks played by seniors. But then I realised that there were some seniors who constantly tried to harass me. Few of them even tried to make mockery out of the dress I wear and made remarks supposedly aiming at my poor financial condition. Suddenly I felt a rich-poor divide, which made me angry and I shouted at them saying that "Rich wont stay rich forever, poor will definitely defeat them one day or other...Your days are counting". Hearing my loud voice, one of the oldies whom I knew very well (Infact I had defeated him in a district chess tournament ...He studied chemistry, but he had a "girl friend" in Commerce) came for my support and he turned out to be a staunch activist of the students union representing the leftist cluster. His arrival made the scene calmer and my seniors scattered as they knew that individuals cannot easily revolt against a political party supporter.

The oldie calmed me and guaranteed his help whenever I required so. My aggressiveness even helped me to earn friends in my own class who thought that they have somebody who represents the down-trodden i.e. the JUNIORS. I narrated this incident to my friends at my tuition class and one of them said that my talk had the stint of a communist and no wonder why a politsupporter came for my help. That day I could not sleep properly since I kept thinking why my seniors kept targeting me when there were lot of other preys for them. Suddenly I remembered that during my felicitation session at the Elite club, I told my two girl-freinds that since I am already two years old in the college, no body would dare to rag me on the freshers day or any other day for that matter.... I kept extrapolating my thoughts and I fell asleep only after concluding my thoughts like this - These two girl-friends also had good contact with oldies in the Dept and hence they only would have passed on my idle NOBODY-CAN-RAG-ME conversation .

What a genius I am!......; One of my seniors -who attempted to make a truce with me after the
intervention of the Leftist oldie- came to me the next day and told that my two girl-friends are the ones who have leaked the conversation (He told this to me in a such a degree of seriousness as if Pakistan had leaked the key Indian defence info).

The same day there was a membership event by the leftist students union and after the speech given by the college Unit Secretary , I felt my thoughts were closely aligned with the ideology of Marx; So I took one rupee from my torn wallet and got registered as a member.It was then I re-christened the phrase "Ningallenae communistaakki" to "Ente GirlFriends ennae communistaakki".

Postscript: Currently I am not affiliated to any political party and have also re-aligned myself to Spirituality. But I feel sad when people blame an MP/MLA/Minister for non-development.... Why dont you contest elections, win and change the fate of the nation than blaming everybody else except you for the country's current state of affairs?

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Seventh Sense

Watched 7am arivu in Cinemax.kochi. Wanted to see how the stunts were performed since Johny (whose action was amazing in Goong opp to Tony Jaa) was the villain. But stunt visuals were mostly in slow motion which irritated a lot of action-loving-audience.

I believe kalari is originated in kerala but this movie portrays it as a martial art of TN. I dont know why suriya acted like a fanatic who even condemned the killing of LTTE Chief, though in an indirect way. I believe the movie lacked the degree of precision which is required in a SciFi movie.
At the entry of the villain, the movie should have gathered speed, but Murugadoss spoiled the same by inserting unwarranted songs, leaving the audience frustrated. Shruti didn't have the genetic engineering which she ought to have inherited from her talented father; I think she should have capitalized her glamor and complexion on movies like velayutham.In climax, the director didnt even care to show how Bodhi dharma2 cured the epidemic using his Eazhaam Arivu
To sum up, the movie didn't perform up to the expectations which were created by the Murugadoss team prior to its release . I would give a two-star rating out of five.

Sexy Learning


Last sunday (dt 6th Nov 2011), I had to attend my colleague's wedding at Salem. My friends in office had arranged a 12-seater A/C vehicle for our travel. We planned to leave by around 6PM on the Friday (dt 4th Nov 2011) before that Sunday. That friday morning my mobile reminder beeped saying "Buk_sat_puja". I then remembered that some weeks back I had promised my wife that we will go to a particular temple to do some astrological parihara on the specified date (i.e 5th Nov2011).

It was with a heavy heart that I told my friends in office that I back out from the Yercaud trip which was tagged alongwith the Wedding at Salem.....Now I had to book a train ticket to Salem on 4th under Tatkal Quota. When I checked IRCTC website I was surprised to find out that Train No 12698-TVM-Chennai SF Exp had 64 General tickets available in sleeper class (From palakkad to salem), that too only one in-between stop at Erode Jn.Immediately I booked the ticket online and took a printout.

The train was expected to leave Palakkad Jn @ 330Hrs (early morning). I used the Train Enquiry service (SMS RAIL to 139) to find out the train running info (SMS "SPOT 12698" to 139). I found out that train has left TVM on saturday (5 Nov 2011) and is running late by 15 min. Before leaving home @ 215Hrs on 6th Nov, I SMSed again to find out that train is running 26Min before time. I asked the Autorickshaw driver to accelerate so that I reach before time. It was a cold morning and maybe the reason why the driver charged me Rs 50 extra.

When I reached Pkd Jn, I heard the announcement in hindi --ek,do,che,now,aat .......platform no theen par khadi hein. I then rushed to my S-6 compartment (coz I had previous experiences (esp early morning/ midnight trains),when people inside the train put the latch and close it from inside and would be in deep sleep. Then I had to board in some other compartment and traverse thru various vestibules -with bad smell near toilets- and then finally reach the destination compt and reconfirm after opening the doors and seeing the Bogi No. written outside) and found the same was open. So I went inside and sat in my side-berth.One lucky guy was snoring in the middle berth and the other berths were free.The train left PGT at 340Hrs

Since I am 5feet 11 inches(perhaps 10.5 inches to be exact, but I like to say 11 inches) tall, I could nt sleep in the side berth, so I shifted to the lower berth which was vacant. At 550 Hrs -I thought I slept only for 5 mins - my phone rang (nobody dares to call me so early coz lot of my friends have heard my bad abuses coupled with bad breath when they called me when I was in deep sleep), and it was my wife who called me; before I could say Good Morning, Darling,, she said something like this"--go and wash your face--time is 5.50AM and by now u shud have reached Erode and next stop is Salem".Suddenly I realised the urgency of the situation and I woke up with high energy as if I am going to do something great to save Indians from terrorists

When train reached Erode a short time from now, an elderly Tamilian lady with her ok-kind-of-daughter (after I got married, all girls whom I see is only ok-kind-of ,so dont take any offence out of my phrase) boarded the train.She asked me " ithu unga bertha".I replied " No mine is side upper; since I have to alight at the next station ie Salem, I just came down to the lower berth"...(I didnt want to mention about my 5 "11" thing coz those two ladies were very short and I felt they would not feel good if I mention about my height)

Before I completed my reply , she said, "this train will not stop in Salem, next station is Jolarpettai" (the last word was uttered only once, but I could feel that Echo...Jolarpettai...Jolarpettai)

Then I tried to validate her statement by sending SMS "SPOT 12698" to 139 and was waiting for the return SMS from Rail Enquiry as if I had written CA exams very bad, and now the result is going to come. It took some time for the return SMS coz the connectivity got broken then and there. Finally the SMS appeared in my Inbox and it read "Train: source station:TVM central on 5-11-2011 departed erode Jn at 6-11-2011 06:15 Hrs, Late by 00:15 Hrs Next stop station: JOLARPETTAI Sch arrival 06-11-2011 09.03 Hrs..........". There was much more in the SMS, but I could read upto this only. My heartbeats stopped for sometime and by then it resumed I looked up at the old lady and asked -" Then how can they issue an e-ticket to salem if it doesnot stop at salem".

She smiled and said-" Ask TTE,....Oh in this train TTE doesnot appear at all till JOLARPETTAI". I checked the same with lot of tea and vada vendors and they all repeated the same-"Train doesnot have a stop in salem". One Tea vendor told that though it doesnt stop at salem, the train would be running very slow when it approaches Salem junction. This sentence was extrapolated in my mind and I thought I could pull the chain when the train slows down; then I would alight quickly and run before the train fully stops..... I quickly remembered that my mother-in-law works for the Indian Railways, and so I called her. She picked her phone after so many rings, perhaps it was her wake-up call. She said she would quickly check and revert. I was counting seconds and exactly after 90 Seconds, she called me back (She is a very efficient lady as far as i know her, not only coz she is my wife's mom but I have seen her writing down important things and putting a status remark against them to have a control over things) and said that she checked with one of her colleagues who is a Ticket issuer and he has replied in the negative. so the final verdict came-"Train doesnot stop at Salem"

Now my thoughts of pulling the emergency chain became immense and by mistake I told the elderly lady sitting opposite to me that I have decided to pull the chain coz I dont want to miss the wedding. Other alternative would be to alight at Jolarpettai (where I would cut a sorry figure as a ticket-less traveller and I would have to travel back to salem another 2-2.30 Hrs) which didnot look feasible. The elderly lady and her daughter suddenly came to a state of panic, coz they would have thought that I will pull the chain and run away and the police will interrogate them. The lady screamed "No you cant pull the chain". Still the lucky guy in the middle berth was sleeping...I decided to calm them down, so I said, " No I wont pull the chain". Both of them gave a look which sounded "We believed,hmmm"

To make them prove that I wont pull the chain, I stopped one tea-vendor and asked " The train stops at Salem, right?". He gave a disgusted look (perhaps he always had such a look) and said "Ongitta oru vaatti sonna puriyathaa. intha vandi salem nikkathu (Translation: "didnt u understand when I told first time, this vehicle doesnt halt at salem").

Within a few minutes the train passed Sankari Durg station, and salem is only few minutes from here. Then an idea struck me-I wont pull the chain from my current bogi, but will do it from the next bogi from where the exit is easy. I checked my Trousers pocket to find whether I have a kerchief (to get rid of finger print analysis).I called up my MIL for the second time to check whether if I pay Rs 1000 as fine, RPF will leave me. She told that there will be six months imprisonment also and pleaded not to do anything foolish . I was on deep thought when a book vendor came to me and asked- " Sir, do you want to see some books which I have brought".

I asked "Does this train stop at Salem" in a hushed voice and the two ladies started laughing uncontrollably (i dont know whether uncontrollably is gramatically correct or not, but this word looks apt).

The book vendor replied in a confident tone, " This is a weekly train; till last week this didnot have a stop at salem. Now since Salem is a separate Rail division, Salemites wanted a stop for this train at salem, and from this week i.e. from today this train halts at Salem Junction". What a wonderful explanation, I thought and I believed him since I have one more proof in my hand which I almost forgot i.e the E-TICKET booked from PGT to SA. Within few seconds I rushed to the footboard and 12698 started slowing down at Salem Junction. I could see the smile in the face of Salemites and I felt as if they are welcoming me to their wonderful town.

When it almost halted, I saw one TTE standing near the platform, to whom i asked " This will stop here, right?". He didnot reply but he smiled (Yes, body has its own language).

For the first time in 12698's history it halted at SA. I then thought if I would have told this incident to my Managing Director he would have summarised this in one phrase- "VALUE FOR INFORMATION- Excellent Learning Ganesh".

Post script: The wedding was colourful, both Bride and the groom looked fantabulous. Return trip was with my friends in the A/C 12-seater and a relaxed one. And it is worth mentioning that I was praying during my troubled times to Lord Hanuman to do some miracle and make the train halt :-)