Sexy Learning

Last sunday (dt 6th Nov 2011), I had to attend my colleague's wedding at Salem. My friends in office had arranged a 12-seater A/C vehicle for our travel. We planned to leave by around 6PM on the Friday (dt 4th Nov 2011) before that Sunday. That friday morning my mobile reminder beeped saying "Buk_sat_puja". I then remembered that some weeks back I had promised my wife that we will go to a particular temple to do some astrological parihara on the specified date (i.e 5th Nov2011).

It was with a heavy heart that I told my friends in office that I back out from the Yercaud trip which was tagged alongwith the Wedding at Salem.....Now I had to book a train ticket to Salem on 4th under Tatkal Quota. When I checked IRCTC website I was surprised to find out that Train No 12698-TVM-Chennai SF Exp had 64 General tickets available in sleeper class (From palakkad to salem), that too only one in-between stop at Erode Jn.Immediately I booked the ticket online and took a printout.

The train was expected to leave Palakkad Jn @ 330Hrs (early morning). I used the Train Enquiry service (SMS RAIL to 139) to find out the train running info (SMS "SPOT 12698" to 139). I found out that train has left TVM on saturday (5 Nov 2011) and is running late by 15 min. Before leaving home @ 215Hrs on 6th Nov, I SMSed again to find out that train is running 26Min before time. I asked the Autorickshaw driver to accelerate so that I reach before time. It was a cold morning and maybe the reason why the driver charged me Rs 50 extra.

When I reached Pkd Jn, I heard the announcement in hindi --ek,do,che,now,aat .......platform no theen par khadi hein. I then rushed to my S-6 compartment (coz I had previous experiences (esp early morning/ midnight trains),when people inside the train put the latch and close it from inside and would be in deep sleep. Then I had to board in some other compartment and traverse thru various vestibules -with bad smell near toilets- and then finally reach the destination compt and reconfirm after opening the doors and seeing the Bogi No. written outside) and found the same was open. So I went inside and sat in my side-berth.One lucky guy was snoring in the middle berth and the other berths were free.The train left PGT at 340Hrs

Since I am 5feet 11 inches(perhaps 10.5 inches to be exact, but I like to say 11 inches) tall, I could nt sleep in the side berth, so I shifted to the lower berth which was vacant. At 550 Hrs -I thought I slept only for 5 mins - my phone rang (nobody dares to call me so early coz lot of my friends have heard my bad abuses coupled with bad breath when they called me when I was in deep sleep), and it was my wife who called me; before I could say Good Morning, Darling,, she said something like this"--go and wash your face--time is 5.50AM and by now u shud have reached Erode and next stop is Salem".Suddenly I realised the urgency of the situation and I woke up with high energy as if I am going to do something great to save Indians from terrorists

When train reached Erode a short time from now, an elderly Tamilian lady with her ok-kind-of-daughter (after I got married, all girls whom I see is only ok-kind-of ,so dont take any offence out of my phrase) boarded the train.She asked me " ithu unga bertha".I replied " No mine is side upper; since I have to alight at the next station ie Salem, I just came down to the lower berth"...(I didnt want to mention about my 5 "11" thing coz those two ladies were very short and I felt they would not feel good if I mention about my height)

Before I completed my reply , she said, "this train will not stop in Salem, next station is Jolarpettai" (the last word was uttered only once, but I could feel that Echo...Jolarpettai...Jolarpettai)

Then I tried to validate her statement by sending SMS "SPOT 12698" to 139 and was waiting for the return SMS from Rail Enquiry as if I had written CA exams very bad, and now the result is going to come. It took some time for the return SMS coz the connectivity got broken then and there. Finally the SMS appeared in my Inbox and it read "Train: source station:TVM central on 5-11-2011 departed erode Jn at 6-11-2011 06:15 Hrs, Late by 00:15 Hrs Next stop station: JOLARPETTAI Sch arrival 06-11-2011 09.03 Hrs..........". There was much more in the SMS, but I could read upto this only. My heartbeats stopped for sometime and by then it resumed I looked up at the old lady and asked -" Then how can they issue an e-ticket to salem if it doesnot stop at salem".

She smiled and said-" Ask TTE,....Oh in this train TTE doesnot appear at all till JOLARPETTAI". I checked the same with lot of tea and vada vendors and they all repeated the same-"Train doesnot have a stop in salem". One Tea vendor told that though it doesnt stop at salem, the train would be running very slow when it approaches Salem junction. This sentence was extrapolated in my mind and I thought I could pull the chain when the train slows down; then I would alight quickly and run before the train fully stops..... I quickly remembered that my mother-in-law works for the Indian Railways, and so I called her. She picked her phone after so many rings, perhaps it was her wake-up call. She said she would quickly check and revert. I was counting seconds and exactly after 90 Seconds, she called me back (She is a very efficient lady as far as i know her, not only coz she is my wife's mom but I have seen her writing down important things and putting a status remark against them to have a control over things) and said that she checked with one of her colleagues who is a Ticket issuer and he has replied in the negative. so the final verdict came-"Train doesnot stop at Salem"

Now my thoughts of pulling the emergency chain became immense and by mistake I told the elderly lady sitting opposite to me that I have decided to pull the chain coz I dont want to miss the wedding. Other alternative would be to alight at Jolarpettai (where I would cut a sorry figure as a ticket-less traveller and I would have to travel back to salem another 2-2.30 Hrs) which didnot look feasible. The elderly lady and her daughter suddenly came to a state of panic, coz they would have thought that I will pull the chain and run away and the police will interrogate them. The lady screamed "No you cant pull the chain". Still the lucky guy in the middle berth was sleeping...I decided to calm them down, so I said, " No I wont pull the chain". Both of them gave a look which sounded "We believed,hmmm"

To make them prove that I wont pull the chain, I stopped one tea-vendor and asked " The train stops at Salem, right?". He gave a disgusted look (perhaps he always had such a look) and said "Ongitta oru vaatti sonna puriyathaa. intha vandi salem nikkathu (Translation: "didnt u understand when I told first time, this vehicle doesnt halt at salem").

Within a few minutes the train passed Sankari Durg station, and salem is only few minutes from here. Then an idea struck me-I wont pull the chain from my current bogi, but will do it from the next bogi from where the exit is easy. I checked my Trousers pocket to find whether I have a kerchief (to get rid of finger print analysis).I called up my MIL for the second time to check whether if I pay Rs 1000 as fine, RPF will leave me. She told that there will be six months imprisonment also and pleaded not to do anything foolish . I was on deep thought when a book vendor came to me and asked- " Sir, do you want to see some books which I have brought".

I asked "Does this train stop at Salem" in a hushed voice and the two ladies started laughing uncontrollably (i dont know whether uncontrollably is gramatically correct or not, but this word looks apt).

The book vendor replied in a confident tone, " This is a weekly train; till last week this didnot have a stop at salem. Now since Salem is a separate Rail division, Salemites wanted a stop for this train at salem, and from this week i.e. from today this train halts at Salem Junction". What a wonderful explanation, I thought and I believed him since I have one more proof in my hand which I almost forgot i.e the E-TICKET booked from PGT to SA. Within few seconds I rushed to the footboard and 12698 started slowing down at Salem Junction. I could see the smile in the face of Salemites and I felt as if they are welcoming me to their wonderful town.

When it almost halted, I saw one TTE standing near the platform, to whom i asked " This will stop here, right?". He didnot reply but he smiled (Yes, body has its own language).

For the first time in 12698's history it halted at SA. I then thought if I would have told this incident to my Managing Director he would have summarised this in one phrase- "VALUE FOR INFORMATION- Excellent Learning Ganesh".

Post script: The wedding was colourful, both Bride and the groom looked fantabulous. Return trip was with my friends in the A/C 12-seater and a relaxed one. And it is worth mentioning that I was praying during my troubled times to Lord Hanuman to do some miracle and make the train halt :-)